Circles of Intimacy and Ultimacy

Why does small group ministry matter, & what works today?

​“By their groups you shall know them,” wrote noted UU theologian James Luther Adams (JLA). [1]  He was talking about congregations, civic clubs, reform movements, political groups – all the associations through which people build social connections and work together to get things done for their communities. We need each other. And we need to be deliberate in building our associations with one another.
 
Around this time of year, while gearing up for fall, many church leaders are thinking about groups on a small scale. Small group ministry, covenant groups, chalice circles, sharing circles – whatever you call them, small groups have been a staple of social connection and spiritual growth within Unitarian Universalist congregations since at least the early aughts.

 
And they go back much further. John C. Morgan writes of house churches, as well as study circles, lay ministry, and individuals engaging in their own spiritual growth, as themes of early, Pietistic (heart-centered) Universalism in the 1700s mid-Atlantic U.S. Then and now, smaller cells within a religious community are key to meeting the dual purposes of intimacy and ultimacy – belonging and meaning – which JLA recognized as the core concerns of a church. [2] As Adams also underscored, you cannot really separate the spiritual from the prophetic. Not only does social action emerge from voluntary associations and the social capital they build, it is always grounded in theology (even when implicit). [3]
 
Small group experiences were formative in my own journey as a Unitarian Universalist. When I joined my home congregation in the late 90s, I found my niches in the choir and the young adult (YA) group. I particularly remember going through the Evensong curriculum with other YAs – my first experience of small group ministry. We also had a run of About Your Sexuality – the predecessor to Our Whole Lives – for the YAs. I joined in on classes offered for the congregation at large, too; a particularly memorable one for me was on the historical Jesus, tapping materials from the Jesus Seminar. Small groups were vital to both my finding a sense of belonging in a large congregation, and to my spiritual development.

I find myself thinking about small groups for another reason. Through a period of study on spiritual trauma and healing – aided by taking a graduate class on Trauma, Healing & Care this summer – I have gotten clearer about a new program I want to create. One that provides a supportive small group setting for healing from high control religion or similar kinds of harm, and that can be offered in progressive congregations. With all the come-outers who make their way to UU and other progressive communities from other faiths, including fundamentalist and evangelical expressions of Christianity, I believe many might be interested in and benefit from such an opportunity. (Would you see such a curriculum being embraced in your congregation?)
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Robert C. Hill observes that most of our congregations have plenty of visitors (be they come-outers, geographic transplants, or, increasingly, unchurched). Our challenge has long been successfully integrating people into congregational life, so that they stick around. Hill relays a comment offered by an astute observer from one of the fast-growing conservative traditions, who quipped:  “Relative to total membership, you Unitarian Universalists draw in a higher proportion of visitors each year than any other religious body. If you ever solve your retention problem, you’ll be dangerous.” [4]
 
There has never been a more urgent time for Unitarian Universalism to pose a clear and present danger to the forces of conservative traditions, theologies, and policies. Our country needs us. To my fellow (sister) religionists – to all those who share our values of interdependence, pluralism, justice, transformation, generosity, and equity, all grounded, like the faith of the heart-led Universalists before us, in Love – I say, let’s get more dangerous!

There are many options to choose from in small group programming. Among them, congregations can:

• use resources like The Complete Guide to Small Group Ministry and ever-growing session plans from the UU Small Group Ministry Network, for a traditional, deep-listening oriented approach
• tap into a subscription theme-based ministry program, like Soul Matters or newer offerings, that include support for small group ministry
• draw on the UUA’s curriculum library to offer adult religious education programs on a range of topics  (along with newer curricula, it includes all the archived Tapestry of Faith stuff – among them an oldie but goodie, Owning Your Religious Past, which I have offered before, with some adaptation, as Integrating Your Religious Past)
• consider or work with this year’s UUA Common Read, Social Change Now, and the resource kit developed for congregations
• offer programs like UU Wellspring, Faith Forward, or your own small group spiritual direction program, to help people deepen in their UU faith
• access UUA resources for small group ministry on LeaderLab, including a new webinar from March this year on revitalizing your program

 
To circle back to James Luther Adams (JLA) and civil society, I believe we need these nodes of connection all the more in times of distress. Times when people are lonely, and scared, and want to come together both to cope with daily life and to organize together for the greater good. Times like now! I suspect UU churches will be as flush with visitors this fall as we have ever been. And we need to be ready to help new people get connected up.
 
Yet, I am wondering what is working these days in small group ministry. Perhaps that varies somewhat across regions and churches. Where I am, the pandemic dampened participation in small groups, and it has yet to fully recover to previous levels. People seem less interested in long-term commitments; yet drop-in groups don’t build the same level of trust, friendship and sharing that is possible with greater continuity. What is working where you are? Are you trying something new?

Image: Alexas_Fotos / Pixabay

I’m convinced UU churches need to be as intentional as ever in providing opportunities for human-scale relationship-building and spiritual growth. Not only for the visitors who continue to come, but for our youth – whose youth culture is of the small group, relational, experiential, head-and-heart-together sort. And for long-timers, too, who can be just as lonely and hungry as newer folks, over different seasons of life.
 
Worship is vital to religious community, of course, and I for one love worship. But if all folks do is show up in the sanctuary (or on their device) on Sunday morning, they will not develop the relationships or experience the growth that leads people to seek out spiritual community in the first place. They will not be fed. They are less likely to start or sustain social action for the common good. And they are more likely to fall away from our churches.
 
As a minister, I have been trying for several years to figure out how to provide high-quality worship with less prep time. So I can then devote more time and creative energy to building the small group infrastructure, the interpersonal connections, the spiritual development opportunities that will serve our people well, individually – and help unleash our potential at the congregational level and beyond.
 
Arguably the last movement within our tradition to generate significant growth in membership was the Fellowship Movement. Morgan observes that “the fellowship movement represents an Enlightenment version of the Pietist house churches of the early Universalists.” Like many early Universalists, fellowships focused more on personal experience than formal beliefs, met a need for community, tapped lay leadership, and had a practical orientation to ethics. [5] I’m not sure to what extent they formed sub-units within each fellowship. But my sense is that they tended to be smaller congregations with dense friendship networks.

The Fellowship Movement had its down sides. One was distrust of religious professionals. Most of the fellowships that thrived over time – like my home congregation – eventually did call a minister; others largely petered out. As Morgan points out, seeing themselves as “alternatives to religion, not as religious alternatives,” was another drawback in fellowship culture. Whatever language they use for it today, people are hungry for spiritual depth. Morgan believed in 1995 that spiritual growth and sustained numerical growth went hand-in-hand; I believe that is just as true in our era. [6]
 
These days, we’re more or less level in membership as a denomination – but that hides the variation within. By the most current data, half our churches are growing, while the other half are declining. [7]
 
Much like the storyline of the fellowship movement, my impression is that the congregations that are growing tend to be those with professional leadership that can nurture cultures of trust and encourage the spiritual development of members, including through small groups. Effective lay leadership is doubtless also a critical ingredient. UUA staff lift up commonalities in growing churches like welcoming environments, clear mission and identity, and the ability to handle conflict in healthy ways. [8]
 
So I’m not suggesting that small group ministry is THE answer to spiritual and numerical growth in our congregations. To my mind, effective small group connections are a necessary but not sufficient ingredient for serving our members well – and for making an impact in the wider world, as we put our values into action together. One thing seems clear: effective pathways to build connection and make meaning are critical to sustained growth for Unitarian Universalism.

Your Turn

Whether you are a lay leader or religious professional – and whether you are UU or in any other religious tradition – I’d love to hear from you! You can comment on any of these via the comment feature.

1. What is working well in your congregation, to help new people build relationships, and people of any tenure develop spiritually?
2. Have you tried anything new on these fronts in the past few years?  If so, what have you learned?
3. If a small group curriculum for healing from high control religion were offered in your congregation, would people participate?  Who might facilitate it?
4. What’s working logistically in small group ministry, adult religious education or other programs these days (meeting frequency, length, program duration, etc.)? Or is it more about what particularly is offered, and the quality of communication and support provided to share that opportunity effectively?
5. What kinds of group programs are youth and/or young adults showing up for?
6. Are there other / new resources for small group ministry that should be lifted up?

Sources

1. James Luther Adams, “Association and Action,” in The Essential James Luther Adams: Selected Essays and Addresses, ed. by George Kimmel Beach (Boston, MA: Skinner House Books, 1998).
2. John C. Morgan. The Devotional Heart: Pietism and the Renewal of American Unitarian Universalism (Boston, MA: Skinner House Books, 1995).
3. James Luther Adams, “Theological Bases of Social Action,” in The Essential James Luther Adams: Selected Essays and Addresses, ed. by George Kimmel Beach (Boston, MA: Skinner House Books, 1998).
4. Robert L. Hill. The Complete Guide to Small Group Ministry: Saving the World Ten at a Time (Boston, MA: Skinner House Books, 2003).
5. Morgan, The Devotional Heart
6. Ibid.
7. Digging Into Data: A UUA Congregational Data Certification Webinar (2024 UUA Certification Report), November 19, 2024. https://vimeo.com/1031534024?share=copy  See also this UU World article: https://www.uuworld.org/articles/uua-2024-certification-report-read-findings-unitarian-universalism-membership.
8. Ibid.